I'm a mother - you already know that. Well the past few weeks I have discovered that I am not really a very good one.
Small children were busy, fun and exhausting. However when they went to bed there was peace in the home and a respite for mom. I could read or watch movies with my husband. I could even get some cleaning done that I had not been able to do earlier. I worried about them when they were awake but when they slept I knew they were safe.
Teenagers never sleep. So if you don't have any yet just prepare yourself. You want to watch a movie with your husband - ha good luck. Every evening on the weekend all TVs are confiscated to play video games with friends or watch movies themselves. Or - and this is always fun - stick in a romantic movie and instantly they gravitate to the room you are in and watch it with you. So much for romance. :) I worried about them when they were out but once everyone returned and the doors were locked, the peace returned and I knew they were safely home again.
What I have discovered just recently is that I have a hard time with one of the major steadfast rules of being a good parent. A good parent can let go. A good parent steps back and lets their children make their own mistakes and learn from the consequences. College is rough on me. I stress because I see my college student is up all night (I can thank facebook for that information). I know she is making mistakes because she has the freedom to do so. It about kills me. I don't sleep well anymore, and I feel sick to my stomach all of the time. Do you see my problem? I think it all boils down to the fact that one of my precious children isn't home safe every night. I have no control and no way to protect her.
Funny thing is I trust her. This child has come a long way in her life and I am so proud of her. She will make mistakes and learn from them. I just hope they don't cost me too much - lol just kidding. That will be the first lesson learned for her. I am hoping that as time passes so will my control freakiness. (Is that a real term?) Well it fits.
