Recently I have found myself reading about those whose faith has faltered or left them completely and my heart feels shattered. I don't know many in person (although there are a few that are very dear to me), but my feelings are the same no matter the relationship or lack thereof. As I found myself reading a blog post today by a woman whose husband has made the decision to walk away from the church she said something that touched a nerve in me. She asked how much different it would be if the questions asked in temple recommend interviews were about love instead of about doctrine. So many agreed with her but as I read it, my heart once again sank. It was the same reaction I felt when a change was announced earlier this year, a change I didn't understand and I had to spend much time in prayer seeking peace to understand or accept it. My first reaction was the feeling that the younger the generations get, the fainter of heart they feel. That the strength of those first pioneer saints which never ceases to amaze me, seems to dissipate more with each generation. That so many seek to make everything about love and acceptance and tolerance; all of which are good and necessary but not enough on their own. But my next reaction came through the still small voice that whispered and enlightened and helped me know that one of those three is what it is all about.
Love - it is enough, but only in the right context and the right definition, and I think this is what was missing in her understanding. All of those temple questions may seem about doctrine and rules but that is only superficial. What they are about is love but not about the kind of love she mentioned. They are about Pure Love - the love we show and have for our Heavenly Father, and for His Son, our Savior. They are about the love they have for us. When I pay my tithing, I am showing my love for them. I trust that when I make that sacrifice, I am putting my life in their hands and trusting in the promises that come with obedience to that commandment. When I am asked about my family and my relationship with them, I am declaring to the Lord that my stewardship He has given me with my family is one He would approve of, and I know He understands better than anyone what I am going through when those relationships aren't always healthy and once again I am trusting Him to bless me when I need it.
When I am asked about my support of my leaders, I am doing so out of love for my Heavenly Father and my leaders. I know they are people called of God, but I know they are not perfect. Neither am I, but once again I am putting my trust in my Heavenly Father and His Son. I am letting them know that I will support those whom they call and trusting them to help me do that. Every time I am asked about my testimony of my Savior, I tear up. It is the one time, I have the privilege of declaring that He is my Savior in front of a witness. I know that testimony is written in the Heavens and I know that my Savior and my Father in Heaven also bear witness of it.
I will admit that I don't understand all of the questions. However, I also know that unless I trust, give my heart and will over to my Father in Heaven and His Son, I will never feel worthy to enter the presence of the Lord one day. I am so thankful that I have the privilege attend the temple, to be asked difficult things, because the temple is the House of the Lord. He walks those hallowed halls, I have felt His presence there. I am at peace because I could answer the difficult questions. I don't judge those who can't answer those questions. I pray for them and I hope they feel the love I have for them. I hope they can also feel the love their Savior has for them and the healing power of the Atonement in their lives. Deuteronomy says that "the Lord your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the Lord your God." In D&C it says "And we know also, that sanctification through the grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is just and true, to all those who love and serve God with all their mights, minds, and strength." We can't be faint of heart during these times, it takes all of our heart, might, mind and strength to live the way we need to to be able to be worthy to return to Him and be in His presence again.
