Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Not always an easy road - A tribute to my mother





This is my mother and my sweet sister.  Charity was born with hydranencephaly. This means that while she was in her mother's womb she suffered a stroke.  Her brain stem had formed but the stroke stopped her brain from forming. She also had what is known as water on the brain - meaning her head was filled with fluid where her brain should have been located. This is what kept her head from collapsing.  My parents adopted Charity while I was serving an LDS mission in England and I first met her when she was 6 months old.  While Charity's story is my favorite in the world, this post is not really going to be about her but about the amazing woman who is holding her - my mother, Kathy Yorgason.

My mother first decided to adopt Charity, years before she was born.  She had a dream about this little girl and set out to find her through every means and resource she had available.  She and my father became foster parents through LDS social services taking care of newborn babies waiting to be placed because my mother knew this was the avenue she needed to take to find this little girl.  You need to know that at this time, my mother already had six children.  During the birth of her last child, her uterus ruptured and my mother died and my sister was born dead.  Through a series of miracles and priesthood blessings, both of them were saved.  However, this took its toll on my mother's health.  I do not remember a time that my mother hasn't spent her days in pain. Despite all of this, her smile rarely falters and she is constantly found serving and helping others.

When Charity finally came into our family, it was my mother that provided most of her care.  It was constant. Charity spent several years in and out of hospitals.  They sent her home to die at one point and I know it was the love of my mother and father that started her healing.  Charity couldn't walk, eat or take care of herself at all. She couldn't communicate except through her smile and the Spirit. We helped my mom but mostly we were busy living our lives.  My mother gave up her life to make Charity's life as good as possible while she lived.  I could feel the love my sister had for my mom.  Despite her handicaps I know she knew how much my mother sacrificed for her. Charity lived almost 8 years and during that time I doubt my mother was gone from her side for more than a week. My mom's health has never been the same since and despite that, I know if given the choice she would have her back again.  It was a sacrifice she was willing to make and one that even today she will tell you was no sacrifice but a privilege.

I have watched other moms make these same kinds of sacrifices.  I have read blogs and articles about mothers feeling the same feelings of privilege at raising children born with special needs.
Not every woman feels comfortable raising a child that is born special but I believe every woman who mothers with the aid of her Father in Heaven can succeed with and embrace that amazing experience.  Motherhood is not an easy road and sometimes it is even more challenging than we can comprehend. I am so grateful that I have had the privilege of being raised by a mother like mine and she is my true example and best friend.  I honor her sacrifices and know that the day she gets to see Charity again there will be a sweet beautiful reunion.